So, so wrong
25 February 2010
Crossing the street, I saw something red in the road. My heart skipped a beat as I thought it might be a Red Vine. I actually started thinking about whether it would be wrong to eat faux licorice out of the street when I realized it was some sort of electrical tubing.
And *then* I realized I have a problem.
Surely I should have known before this little incident? Or been shocked when I realized I wasn’t even a little embarrassed that I have the germ ethics of a toddler?
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bazillion second rule.
No worries. The other morning I found myself eating pre-chewed and spit out toast that my two year old had left on his plate. WTF? Way worse than eating licorice out of the street. At least it wasn’t pre-chewed. Sanitizer anyone?
“ethics of a toddler” — you made me spew my tea! Isn’t it funny how our view of germs is so skewed once we have children. I’ve never in my life washed hands and used hand sanitizer so much yet I’ll take every slobbery kiss or eat right off my snotty nosed kid’s plate without blinking an eye.
YEAH! Free electrical tubing! It still tastes like Twizzler!
My daughter dropped one of her fruit snacks on the floor the other day and I told her it was covered in germs and that she couldn’t eat it. And then she turned around and I snatched it off the floor and ate it myself.
It was grape. Back off.
jc, does the bazillion second rule apply only to plastic licorice or all foods?
Organic, we are big eaters of the pre-chewed kid food in our house. It’s horrifying. Are we trying to save money? Time? Are we that lazy? That hungry? Part scavanger?
Jane, I’m glad I could compromise your tea-drinking experience in this way. Now I just have to adopt the snatching and shrieking toddler ethics and the transformation will be complete.
Dr. No, please, *please* tell me that you appreciate Twizzler as a plastic food group at least two steps beyond the Red Vine. The texture is simply finer. Closer to tubing. And I dig that.
ck, done that before, too. Especially chocolate. I knew before you even specified grape that you would make that exception without batting an eye. It’s good to be consistent (not predictable). ;-)
You’re pregnant. At least, you didn’t look at the Simple Green and think, “Hmm, I wonder what that would taste like.”