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Voted his prison’s most likely to succeed…

11 May 2010

Me: What did you do at school today?
Peanut: chased people with shovels.
Me: Pardon?
P: Chased people with shovels.
M: Why?
P: To see if I could make them sad.
M: Did it work?
P: Yup.
M: And then what did you do?
P: Chased them with shovels again.
M: How’d that work out for you?
P: Mom, did you know this? A’s mom takes away the shovel if you chase people two times with it. But B’s dad waits for three times before he takes it away.
M: Oh. Um…Well, people are all different. But we all have the same rules.
P: No we don’t. Three times is not the same as two times.

Um, so we’re learning math and how to choose the most lenient parole officer today at preschool?

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. 11 May 2010 5:01 pm

    See? That’s what you get for teaching him how to reason. (On a side note, we can NEVER let our children meet. I know I’ve joked about it before, but seriously? They’d be a diabolical pair.)

  2. 11 May 2010 6:00 pm

    Sounds like he is developing some effective observational skills! Future scientist?

  3. 11 May 2010 6:06 pm

    The title alone cracked me up.

    Or, he could be in prep to become a social scientist studying the differences between men and women in dealing with crime and punishment. :-)

  4. 11 May 2010 6:59 pm

    I’m still giggling after reading this post three times.

  5. 11 May 2010 7:09 pm

    That is some character you’ve got over there! Hysterical stuff!

  6. 11 May 2010 7:17 pm

    Future human behaviorist!

  7. Fie Upon This Quiet Life permalink
    11 May 2010 9:38 pm

    Oh dear. Put the shovel down and walk away, Peanut. Easy… easy…

  8. 11 May 2010 10:24 pm

    Seriously, people, are you starting to glimpse my life? You think I make up the tension and the fraught-ness and the intricate machinations involved in getting us all through the day alive, don’t you? But I don’t make this stuff up.
    Calvin? Meet Hobbes.
    Have I mentioned I have a new-found respect for Calvin’s parents as of…about…three years ago?

  9. 12 May 2010 5:51 am

    My favorite part of this post?

    The part where Nap, after hearing that her son is chasing other children with a shovel, calmly asks, “How’d that work out for you?”

    You rock, sister.

  10. 12 May 2010 7:28 am

    This post is classic! I’m bookmarking it for my next giggle fix. Or when my little monsters are driving me crazy!

  11. bookworm permalink
    12 May 2010 6:37 pm

    I laughed out loud while reading this. That’s so funny! And I loved your reaction, “How’d that work out for you?”
    He’s a pretty smart kid! Don’t know if that’s a good thing for you or a bad thing.

  12. 13 May 2010 12:33 pm

    Should we commiserate over drinks and chocolate? Just wait until Butter joins the mayhem.

  13. 20 May 2010 10:20 am

    I like chasing people with shovels sometimes too.

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