Me: Peanut, please don’t climb on the furniture.
P: Why?
M: Because you could get hurt.
P: No I won’t.
M: Pea, please leave the trash in the gutter.
P: Why?
M: Because it’s germy.
P: No it’s not.
M: Peanut, honey, please sit while you eat.
P: Why?
M: Because if you wiggle all over you’ll spill.
P: No, I won’t.
M: Honey, we don’t throw in the house.
P: Yes we do.
M: No. The rule is no throwing in the house.
P: Why?
M: Because whatever gets thrown could break something.
P: No it can’t.
M: Pea, please help me by carrying your lunch box to the car.
P: Why?
M: Because I can’t carry too many things at one time.
P: Yes you can.
M: Sweet thing, next time, please wait one minute until I finish on the phone.
P: Why?
M: Because I can’t hear two people talking at once.
P: Yes you can.
M: Peanut, please use a smaller voice.
P: Why?
M: Because it’s early morning and nobody is ready for a big voice yet.
P: Well, I am.
M: I mean that Mom and Dad and the neighbors can’t take it.
P: Yes you can.
M: P, please clean up for bath.
P: I won’t.
M: Pea, please don’t point that at me, I don’t like it.
P: I will point at you because I like it.
M: Babe, please bring that shirt to the laundry.
P: No.
M: Peanut, do me a favor, please, and use your inside voice.
P: NO!
I can’t wait to teach this kid to drive.
NaptimeWriting 
LMAO! Been there, heard that.
I especially didn’t like it when it was occasionally followed by “My teacher says so.” Like she was the know-all, be-all of everything. Harrumph.
Hang in there! ;)
Just this week I started getting all the “No I don’t” contrarianism followed by an endearing “and I’m going to kill you, GRRRR,” only sometimes substituted by an “I’m going to put your face in the garbage.”
This, and the Monster has actually been quite a pleasure lately.
Urrrrg.
(As an aside, Naptime, could you send me an email? Blogger doesn’t let me see your email address when you comment, and I have something I want to send you. Pretty please?)
Oh Nap, what a strange thing, the mind of a toddler. I don’t know what’s worse, the contrarian or the vacillation between I want to/I don’t want to…
Heaven help us when they start to drive… I expect Kitch’s Valium salt lick to be safely seat belted next to me…
Me: Miss A, if you do that again you will get a Time Out.
Miss A: [does it again, while grinning right at me]
Me: Do you want a Time Out?
Miss A: Yes.
Me: Because you’re getting one now. [I get up to give her TO]
Miss A: [Running from me] But you didn’t say I’d get oooooonnnnne!!!!!!!
(I feel your pain)
On days like that, I feel that I won mother of the year for keeping the children alive.
I started giggling 4 lines in – just you wait, Mama, just you wait!
Yeah, my god… See I would have been throwing something in the house at that point. You know… To demonstrate the destructive ability of throwing. It’s all part of my kids’ very special learning experience. LOL.
Almost like Dr. Seuss. ;-)
Ha! It would be nice to be able to put your hands over your ears and say, “I’m not listening, I’m not listening” during such contrarian moments, but I think that might be counter-productive parenting…maybe?
Sounds like Peanut could use a copy of “Pierre.”