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The bad news is…

13 January 2011

Nine reasons I will not lose one ounce of baby weight on my ear-infection-allergy elimination program:

1. Coconut butter
2. Spicy olives
3. Cumin fried chickpeas
4. Taro chips
5. Homemade granola bars
6. Raw pistachios
7. Mochi with strawberry jam
8. Cashews
9. Candy canes

(Did I mention I’m not dropping sugar? Or tree nuts. Dairy, wheat, soy, egg, peanut, chocolate, citrus, potato, corn, and tomato are enough. Enough, I tell you.)

(Seriously. Love has limits.)

(Mine does, anyway.)

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. 14 January 2011 12:18 am

    1. Hershey Chocolate Bars
    2. Mashed Potatoes
    3. Cheesy Omelets
    4. Popcorn
    5. Strawberry jam
    6. Blueberries
    7. Watermelon
    8. Peaches
    9. Apple Cobbler in the crockpot
    10. Cheesecake

  2. 14 January 2011 5:21 am

    Thank you for putting your foot down about the sugar…I am still in shock about that list…I am hoping that Butter makes a huge improvement. All that sacrifice with no results would truly suck rocks, yo. Especially since it seems you are already sucking rocks instead of eating…

  3. 14 January 2011 7:08 am

    Number 3 sounds delicious!!!! And kudos to you…if I had to drop cheese (cheese, glorious cheese!) there would be NO way I would sacrifice sugar, either.

  4. 14 January 2011 4:35 pm

    jc, you’re killing me. I want cheesy eggs. I want plain eggs. I want eggs with tomato and spinach. I want an egg burrito. Cheesecake is a fond memory.
    Maria, My sentiments exactly.
    Gibby, I keep telling myself it’s not forever. It’s not even for a year. But looking around, there’s no where to put refried beans except a rice cake, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to do that.

  5. 14 January 2011 9:03 pm

    hey, jc, the only reason blueberries weren’t on my list is they won’t keep me from losing weight. When I win an Academy Award or a Nobel Prize I’m going to thank sunshine, blueberries, and pink-and-copper-streaked dawns because they’re what make life worth living
    Hell yeah, blueberries.

  6. 14 January 2011 9:42 pm

    I swear to maud that I stepped off my Gazelle, grabbed a bowl of blueberries, and clicked over here while my muscles twitch themselves to sleep.

    Refried beans would go great with a gluten free pizza bread.

  7. 15 January 2011 9:15 am

    And that is why you are the world’s most awesome, most amazing, most thoughtful Unicorn. I stirred some rice milk and cinnamon into the blueberries and ate them with a refried bean Gomasio pizza. Yay for jc, the maven of hypoallergenic gifts!

  8. 15 January 2011 1:19 pm

    I love you too.

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