Whatever it takes
For your consideration:
Item #1 At 9 months Butter discovered the jars of spices and was smitten.
Item #2 He requests several times a day to have someone hold him and open all the spices so he can sniff them.
Item #3 He did, anyway, until he could open jars himself.
Item #4 And work the stepstool.
Item #5 He regularly pads over to the far end of the kitchen, drags the stepstool over to the spice counter/drawer, and has at it.
Item #6 if not closely supervised he will pour them all over the floor.
Item #7 Lack of close supervision includes blinking during the close supervision of spice sniffing.
Item #8 He opens the jars, sniffs, then recaps nicely unless he smells weakness with the herbs d’provence. Then he speeds to the cinnamon.
Item #9 The cinnamon is the only rat bastard spice to have a flip top.
Item #10 Today I decided I can’t fight this anymore.
I grabbed the cinnamon and the small child. I asked him, “Cinnamon sprinkle, cinnamon shake, you like cinnamon?”
“YEAH” came the resounding answer.
“Let’s sprinkle the cinnamon outside, okay?”
“Tookatooka!” he agreed.
So we spend a half hour outside, him meandering through the backyard and announcing each tablespoon of cinnamon with a crashing wet cement on metal sound, the likes of which only small truck-lovers can make.
On paper I might appear to be an awesome mom. I let my kid shake $2.50 worth of cinnamon all over the patio and lawn. In reality I just take whatever drives me nuts and give it a positive outlet. Outside.
Always with the outside.
Coming soon to our backyard, a whining contest and an indirect-wood-carving-by-drawing-on-thin-paper extravaganza.
If we can also topple stacks of clean laundry and try to scale the stair safety gate, I will join you.
Will there be a raffle in your backyard? I have dibs on the wood carving. You can keep the fine whine. I got plenty of those.
Mine likes to play with the highly spicy hot pepper vinegar stuff and the olive oil. He managed to get the top off the olive oil this evening and took a swig before I grabbed it. He hasn’t yet managed it with the hot pepper vinegar, but if he did, I imagine it would cure him of drinking the condiments.
@Melissa Absolutely. There will also be an exhibition of throwing everything in sight, pulling pots off the stove, and dumping out anything full of anything.
@Unicorn Yes, there will be a raffle. You get one million free tickets for passing your test.
@Kristin AWESOME. The phase when they can finally open lids is effing insane. Ditto doors. Maybe I’ll put spicy vinegar on the doorknobs.
YES! I always wanted a wood carving.
Actually, Fae sent me a pile of stickers! I stuck one on my dreaded calculator, that thing is at least more pleasant to look at now.
Brilliance, Naptime. Sheer brilliance.
Ah, ck, you say the sweetest things.